Creating Your Own PathI wanted to write about this earlier but was always caught up with something else. Well. Better late than never.
Last week, I had the honour to attend one my Singapore Poly BBQ at East Coast Beach. Initially I didnt want to go as I thought it would be pretty awkward especially after not seeing them in more than 3 years. Then I thought to myself, all the more I should go. I was getting used to the familiar faces around me that my gut feeling was telling me it would be good to meet some new and old friends from the school days. Anyway East Coast was just nearby and I didnt have any plans that day.
No, I didnt get to swim. Ok I cant swim. Now you know how to kill me. Muahaha.
 I am glad I went. Apart from seeing some old friends from school days, I met some of our juniors. It was great but I must say that I do feel slightly old (even though I am only 2 or 3 years older than them) compared to the juniors who just graduated from school. It was great catching up with everybody. Somehow I have a feeling that there are some who have been avoiding me for some reason but I choose to ignore that thought. Negative thoughts like this MUST be ignored or it will drive you mad. I talked to most of them, mostly the girls and some of the guys. I dont recognise some of the guys. Its either they have changed a lot or they were not too significant to me during the school days. I accept that I am not significant to some of them too because some were still asking me for my name. I am not upset or anything like that but I have now realised that among the many people that we get to meet, only some will be of significance and importance to us. Some events might have led us to be closer to some than others. Thats life and we have to accept that we cant be popular to everyone all the time.
So the topic of the day was 'Where are you working?'. No suprise. When we meet people from school days, that will somehow be the first question we asked. Its become like an unstoppable tradition that we practice. Why do we ask that? Why dont we ask questions like 'Hows your health?', 'Hows your family?', 'How does the future looks for you?' I dont get it. What was more puzzling was I was exactly asking the same question.
After talking with some of them for quite some time, I realise one thing that was almost the same in everyone's current life. They are looking for better opportunities! Most of them would describe their job, as if they were forced to worked there, like they have no other choice. I can understand that, I was once like that too. Somehow when we work, we have this little thought inside us which does not stop wondering and questioning if we will be better people if we were somewhere else. We always feel like we are too good for the company and that we will do better in another company.
Truth is, everyone is constantly looking for something better, better opportunities, better pays. However, most people are too focus in looking for it that they fail to see the opportunities that falls right onto their laps. None of them spoke with passion about their life. There was no excitement about the future, no dreams, no hope. Most of them only wish that it will be better in the future. Wishing without action aint gonna change anything baby.
Before I went, I made a promise to myself not to speak about my job, and what I am doing unless I am asked. Sometimes I have a bad habit of just blabbering off and I find it hard to stop myself. It must be in the women genes. After doing business and meeting all sorts of people for the past years, I have learned to speak about myself only when I am asked. If not, there is no need to tell everyone about my life. It is part of me learning to be a better person, a better leader and a better friend, even to someone I just met.
I did cross the line a couple of times, but most times I choose to remain quiet and not be judgemental when others are telling about their life. I enjoy listening, it helps me understand the human nature better. Few people realise this. We can learn more from listening than talking.
Being in a totally different thought process than the rest was difficult at first. I did felt a little outcasted. Apart from  Lanang, I was totally in a different world from the rest! In the end I ended up talking to the wonderful Lanang. We have been educated by the same system and thats why it was easier. But fact was, I didnt meet a single person who were passionate about their future like Lanang and me were about our future! At that moment I realise that I have separated myself from the majority that chooses to be mediocre. It was scary but it is definitely worth it and necessary. I am who I choose to associate with.
Its not that I am saying that I look down on them or I dont respect them. Its just that we are in a different wavelength and communication with someone of a different signal than you will often end up in frustration. I do know that some of them will not understand but thats ok. I have accepted that some people just dont get it. They are still unable to see that they can create their own path to their future. They are still unable to realise that it is up to them. Not the government, the boss, their family, their friends.
Your future is in your own hands. Choose to shape it or someone else will shape your life according to them.
Images from: www.positivetones.com, Getty Images
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