Working With Idiots

 What is it with people? I just had a really bad encounter with some people from work and its bugging me. I dont think anyone who has never experience being a teacher can really understand what a teacher goes through. I can understand that as parents they are really concern for their child but some of them are in denial! Through the years, I have learned that the best way to handle parents who are overly excited about their children, is to stay calm, no matter what complaints or accusations are being thrown at us. I am using 'us' to represent myself and my fellow colleagues. My ex supervisor has taught me to always stand behind my own colleagues. Do not be on the parents side. Its important because if not, you will not earn the respect of your own colleagues, you will also come across as someone who backstabs others. So far, my colleagues and me have had a great chemistry together in working with kids. However there are times when parents take advantage of our kindness. In times like this, the normal reaction is to really explode and get all worked up.

I am proud of myself today. I didnt explode like I thought I would. A student from the morning class had complained to his mother about me yesterday. Apparently, I didnt allow him to have lunch and that resulted him to be hungry the whole day. When I heard the news today, I was like, "When the hell did I do that?" I have always been very careful with my words so dont mess with me. I called the boy into the office and asked what exactlyy he told his mother. My colleague was around of course. I have also learned that when I have conversations like this, there need to be more than 2 people listening and watching. If there are no witness, people can just twist and turn their words. I learnt this lesson the hard way!

This boy is in the afternoon session so he was at the centre in the morning and coincidently I teaching the morning class this yesterday.  This was how the conversation went:

Me: So, what exactly did you tell your mother yesterday?

Boy: I didnt eat lunch.

Me: Why didnt you eat lunch?

Boy: I didnt finish my work.

Me: Ok, so did you actually heard from my mouth that I said you couldnt eat lunch?

Boy: No. (thought for a while before answering)

Me: So when did I say you couldnt eat lunch?

Paused. By this time, he looks like he just realised something.

Me: Did you come to me and asked whether you can eat lunch?

Boy: No.

Me: If you didnt ask me whether you could eat, how could I have told no? I didnt say you couldnt eat lunch, you assume you couldnt have lunch when you didnt manage to finish your work. Am I right?

Boy: Yes.

Me: So who is in the wrong now?

Boy: Me.

Man, I should have been a lawyer.

Throughout this conversation, I didnt even raised my voice. My tone was normal and I was pretty calm. I have learn not get myself worked up before investigating what really happened. But that does not mean I am not mad! Its frustrating that people see one thing and make their own assumptions. I cant stand people who know bits and pieces of a  story and made their own story in the end to tell the world. Hello...God gave you 2 ears so you can listen to both side of the story and then be smart about it not judgemental.

Anyway I didnt even know why he didnt have his lunch. I didnt even disallow him to eat. Therefore it was ridiculous that I am being accused like that.

Another incident that has been happening these few days also involve another parent but this time it is with my colleague. You know, the usual, wild accusations, lies, pretences, being a hypocrite. I cant stand people like that. They want to know how to improve their children but when we tell them how, they are in total denial. Initially I couldnt understand why these parents refuse to work together with the teachers. Now I understand that some of them deny that a problem exists so that they dont have to deal with them. And dont think that we didnt approach it the right way. We did and it has worked well with some open minded parents. I cant help it if there are idiots out there.

Apparently some of the parents also thinks that a feedback from the teacher regarding a child is always classified as a complaint. Its like we have nothing better to do than to complain all the time. Heloooooooooooooo........if we dont care about a child, we wouldnt be getting all these headaches! We feedback because we care about the development of the child!  My salary does not depend on the number of students who do well in studies!

I refuse to let this incident affect me. I am leaving anyway and everything that has been happening at work recently have further made me more determined and leave. Start afresh with other children who need more help. A change of environment is necessary for further growth. There is really no point in getting all worked up. I will get more lines on my face! I have also decided to send a proper 'good' resignation letter. I know my evil boss does not deserve such a letter, she deserve a more nasty letter from me. Someone told me not to fight with a pig. I wont win but we will both get dirty. Stooping down to such a level is pointless.

Things are starting to look up in business and job. I cant wait.

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I got the message.

Wow, the past few days have been super exciting for me that I just dont know where to start. I feel as though these past few days went by so fast and I am being left behind to wonder what really happened.

Saturday was exciting! I was working from 7 am to 2 pm. Initially I had wanted to mark the stack of papers on my desk. I was busy typing my resignation letter and I dont know what happened but time seems to just slipped away and then it was time for lunch. So I had to go prepare lunch for the kids and by the time we were done, it was almost 2pm. I didnt even manage to mark a single paper. My boss is so lucky to have me as an employee. Then it was almost time to go and I had to get ready. I had to reach the seminar by three and I had no idea where it is. Sooo Nurul and me had to take the cab. By the number of times we hail the cab these year, I am pretty sure we qualify to join the association of making-cab-drivers-rich.

We were early and thats a great feeling as I was not in the usual rush. Its less stressful when you are not late you know. It gives me time to browse around for some books and cds which I like. We even get to see Ganesh and Neha when they arrived! The teachings were fantastic as always. There is a reason why they are the most sought after speaker in the world. We are so honoured that they chose to come to Singapore of all the places in the world.

He talks about several things that touches me deep inside but there are certain things he said which totally changed how I view situations now. There is a reason behind everything that happened in the past. You are where you are for a reason. He was particularly focusing on situations in life. Now, everything that we planned in life will happen according to plan. Life will get in the way. There will be situations. There will be challengers. There will be emergencies. We cant help, thats just the way it is. What was more important is to not let situations get to you. Have a clarity of your own thought process. A lot of times, people are confused with what they are really here for. They get distracted by life. And slowly they will lose sight of the big picture that was meant to be. All we need is faith, focus and determination to succeed.

He also touches on failure. Be willing to fail. Failure is an event not an individual. There will be failure on your road to success, there is no need to be upset about it. Throughout this time, it feels as though he was speaking just to me. There are times that I feel like a complete failure. I fail to realise that part of success is failure and that everyone on their way to success will pass by that. I just have to build myself up really strong so the next time I pass by this storm, I will not be flown away. I will rise above the storm.

The Leadership Dinner was much more awesome. We had to rush because the seminar ends at 6.15 and our dinner was suppose to start at 7.30 at Quality Hotel. Everyone was rushing in a vehicle and just moving as quick as they could. Thanks to Dorothy and Larry, who were kind enough to let us ride in their car. If we had waited for the bus, we would have been really late. The teachings were so impactful. We had the opportunity to be up, close and personal with the Diamonds...it is definitely an experience I will remember forever:) Ganesh mentioned a few things that were really closed to my heart. It really touches me that I had tears in my eyes especially when he mentioned about the person who sponsored him into the business. I kinda feel like I am in the same boat too. But Ganesh emphasized that there are some people who are only meant to be in your life temporarily, only to affect that few events in your life. They are not meant to be with you forever, but to be with you just long enough for you to achieve little successes along the way. Do not be upset by that. I guess as ladies, I hate it when we ladies get all emotional. I hate showing it and I try my very best not to show it to others. Its embarassing to me and sometimes when it gets all bottled up, I can just explode and its really ugly. However I am trying my very best to learn how to control myself. My mind, my thoughts and my actions. It all works together and I cant imagine doing something different from my thoughts, its like lying to own self and I just cant do that.

This month was really a crazy month. I am really proud of Nurul dearie for breaking a new pin this month. It seems like impossible especially when we were towards the end of the month and the goal seems so far. It looks impossible. Its not. All you need is the burning desire to get it done and the faith that you will be there! You did it and I am still amazed by the magic you have shown. These coming months are ours. We are gonna rock and roll! Congratulations. More successes are on the way...woohoo.

I am also so excited and ecstatic to hear about Eddie and Margaret being the first Ruby Direct from The Britt Gala team Singapore! I was too excited to sms the congratulations that I had to call Margaret personally to congratulate her! You guys are my inspiration and I am so proud to be in association with such great leaders like you.

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Parenting Styles and its effects

Ok dont worry this is not a mommy blog as I am not a mommy yet. Recent events have forced me to be reminded of my childhood. Ever wonder how you became who you are? Most of how we feel, how we view the world, how we speak, how we feel about others are all the result of our past experiences and how we were taught. This will then greatly affect the type of person we will be as an adult. Of course, if you had a bad childhood, that experience should not be an excuse to your behaviour as an adult.

I only have 1 brother. As a child, I was pretty average, not too naughty, quite quiet. I dont remember doing anything bizarre in my childhood. I also did pretty well in my studies, my parents didnt have to worry much about me. Being the eldest, I was quite independent, didnt need to ask my parents or everything. I remember saving up my money and not eat during recess because there was a book fair coming up and I knew I would want to buy something. People always say that the youngest child will get all the attention. We all know it exist and we all are pretty much aware of it. However what most people fail to realise is that favoritism will affects a child until his/her adulthood. I have always been aware that my brother has always been a favourite with my parents. Its very obvious! I am not being sensitive! Usually both parents will listen to him. Let me give some examples. If he spills a drink, it is an accident. If I spill a drink, I am clumsy. If he sleeps until 12 pm, he is tired from the day before. If I sleep until 12 pm, I am a lazy bum. If he has not start working yet it is because he wants to rest. If I dont start working, I am depending on my parents for money. Do you see a pattern here?

You see, I thought that this act of favoritism will be over once I reached adulthood. Its not! Just now, I just experiece the spilling thing. Its ridiculous! It doesnt matter what I do or accomplish, I will never be the favourite child. Never ever. Nothing I do seems to please anyone in this house. This is how I develop the attitude of not caring about what others think. I cant please everyone. Due to this too, I have build myself up so strong, that I dont allow people to make me feel small and unworthy. I get angry when people treat other people this way too. It should NOT be the way we treat each other as human beings!! I have been treated this way my entire life. There was no appreciation, no congratulation, no 'proud of you', 'great work' sort of thing.  I have also been brought up to think that when someone compliments you, they must have motive. It was only recently when I started my own business that I realise that, that is NOT how things work.

As parents in the 80s, there must be lack of awareness and teachings on how to raise a child. Most of the parents will raise their children the way they were brought up, whether they like it or not. Its inevitable. Its in us, its going to be in us for the rest of our life, unless we make a decision to change ourselves. And it wont be easy. Its not that I am complaining, ok I am complaining, but I just dont understand why I am treated this way. There must be a reason. God always has a plan. I can clearly remember so many times, I was treated and punished unfairly. Initially I thought there must be something wrong with my face. It gives out a sign ' I am wrong'. I thought girls are suppose to be the favourite to fathers? How come it didnt happen to me?

Now as a teacher, I dont try to show favouritism. However, there are some students who you will like, a little more than others. I do have some but I dont show it especially in front of other students. I know there will be resentment among them if I start showing favoriticism too. I also realise a few destructible things you can do to a child. The worse part is, some of you might already be doing this.

1. Losing hope in a child

2. Not believing in the child

3. Not bothering about the child

Personally, to me, after years of teaching, after years of communicating with parents plus all their personal problems, I have came up with these 3 as the most destructing thing you can ever do as a child. A child is like a white sheet of cloth, waiting to be painted colourfully by the parents. Not believing in your child is the worst thing you can do to a child's self esteem. I have always believe that children, being pure and all, can sense your true feelings of them whether you make it verbal or not. It is therefore, very hurtful when your parents do not believe that you can achieve something that can make them proud. And the hurt will be with you until adulthood.

Thanks to all the challenges I have gone through as a child, as a teenager, and now as an adult, I have finally understood why God made me go through all these.

For all the times people do not believe in me, I have learn to believe in myself.

For all the times people do not believe what I say, I have learn to speak the truth, through my eyes and mouth.

For all the times I have been treated unfairly by others,  I have learn to treat others the way I want to be treated.

For all the times, I was not able to express my feelings people who dont care to listen, I have developed a flair in writing.

And now, thanks to all these valuable lessons that I have learned and skills I have acquired, I have become the adult I  have always wanted to be. This was my vision as a child. It has been my secret ambition to be someone who is not afraid to fight for what is right, to speak up when being wronged and to be strong in leading others. I am thankful for that.

I do remember being pampered for a while, since I was the first born among cousins, for both mom's and dad's side. But the most memorable one was being pampered by both my beloved grandfathers who treated me like a princess. I was always sitting on their laps, hey were always tbuying sweets for me. I dont remember being scolded by them at all! Unfortunately both my grandfather passed away while I was still young. They both left at around the same time and I just realise that their presence was meant to be temporary for me. Maybe to at least let me have a feel of being important, loved, cared for so I know I will do the same for my future kids.

So being pampered is not such a bad thing after all. Too much of pampering will ultimately spoil the child. Therefore for me, it was just nice. Thank you, your presence will always be remembered........ 

My vote matters

Finally! I get to vote!

Ok I am talking about the elections happening in Singapore. This year, our polling day will be 6 May. If you are wondering why I am in so much excitement, it is because it is the first time I get to vote! The elections 5 years ago didnt require me to vote because:

1. There was no opposition.

2. I was not 21 yet.

I didnt use to be that interested in politics at all. I didnt see the need. And I am not the only one. Most of my friends, all around my age, we dont really see the need to be interested in the country's politics. Let the politicians be interested in politics. Even though there may be nothing wrong with that, it has slowly bothered me that someone can not have a care in the politics of the country. The politics in the country is whats going to determine our future. I dont know how we could be so ignorant about it.

Anyway I am not going to go into details. SM (Senor Minister) Lee has issued a warning to all Singaporean bloggers to not discuss politics in blogs. This is to prevent misleading informations from being spread around. All opinions are to be voiced at the Speakers Corner, which apparently has become a football field to some people. So if I have an opinion and I am shy to speak in front of people (which I am not), where do I express? Currently the only place I have express is at home with my family. The only reaction I got is: "Your vote is secret." End of discussion. Duh! I cant help but feel that some individuals are just too scared to voice their opinions or their lift just didnt manage to go up the the floor of opinions. It broke down halfway. Somehow, some of the older generation (40s and above) have this tendency to brush off any forms of opinions from us, the younger generation. They have successfully make me feel like its wrong to have an opinion at all about politics. I just cant understand that.

Recently too, there was a dialogue session between SM Lee and 10 young Singaporeans who have not voted, or voted only once before. It was nice to know that I am not the only crazy young Singaporean around. Some of the young Singaporeans did raised the same issues as I have in mind. I salute them. It must take a lot of courage to speak on tv, in front of the nation and voiced certain cynicism towards the government and SM Lee. I didnt manage to watch the entire show, to my dissapointment, thanks to my busy schedule. It was interesting to see a dialogue session between 2 parties, more than 50 years apart. Talk about generation gap.

As a young Singaporean myself, I do realise that some issues I have in mind that I would like to voice out, might seemed like a form of being rude to the older generation. I am sorry if I appear like that. But I was brought up to think and not just to follow the crowd and not question every decision that is being made. The older generation will soon be gone and it is us, the younger  generation that is going to run the country. I think its only fair that we understand fully the laws, rules and way the older generation think- to prevent the overly rated 'generation gap' from happening.

Anyway what is even more exciting is that the opposition party that is against PAP in my area of residence is out in full force. Most seemed to be new faces and coincidently I happen to know one of the candidates from the opposition party. He used to be the Head of Youth Wing leading a group of activists including myself. I know there have been many times I see someone I know in the newspapers for a great accomplishment that they have done. But this time, I am seeing someone I know will be an asset to the country if he wins a seat in parliament. As much as I think the PAP has done an excellent job in the running of the area, I would like to see how a different set of thinking can affect the development of this country. But nevertheless, I would like to see what is the message they are bringing up. Both the PAP and the opposition parties. We urgently need someone who can see from the people's point of view. Someone who has a vision and that vision is not the one where we have to work until we die.

Dont know which one I will vote for. Psst. My vote matters but for now, it is a secret. 

Searching for a new place in cyberspace

Initially I wanted to write yesterday but things got so hectic that I fell asleep on my bed with the laptop on last night. Its ridiculous to waste battery and by the time I woke up, it was already 2.30 am in tne morning and I just couldnt think straight. This is the first time that the laptop became my sleeping partner. I know its pathetic. I usually go through my routine before bedtime like brushing my teeth, washing my face, wearing face cream, switching on the night light in my room, cleaning my table so it doesnt look to messy, reading my book for at least 20 minutes and making sure I have all my pillows in place. Hmm..ok it seems I do a lot of things before I sleep. And I usually cant sleep when I see my table is so messy.

So it is good that I am off work today. I just realise that I am off today, yesterday! Can you believe how silly that was? I guess I am so  excited about the functions happening tonight and saturday that I didnt check my schedule properly. If Kak Nor, my lovely colleague did not mentioned that I am off today, I would have come to work as per normal!

Anyway, Tracy / Melody who did a blog review for my blog has commented on a few issues here and there. First I must thank them (I dont know who actually did the review!) for taking the time to review it. I have been looking for ways to improve this site and this was the perfect opportunity to do that. I also have been receiving feedback about how annoying xanga is with ad on top. As a user of xanga for the pass 2 years, I didnt realise there were so many issues before. It was when I started surfing around at others blogs that I realise, the ads are unnecessary! And there is really nothing I can do about it unless I go premium. If I go premium, there is a small amount of money to be paid and the ad will be gone. It also come along with an extra side bar on the left. I dont see the point in paying as there are so many free blog providers out there. As you can see, I already have a bar on my right but its difficult to work with. For example, I cant insert any more links to the blogs I read. I can only insert 2 and if I insert even one more, the whole bar dissapears! Also, some of the html codes just dont work on xanga and when I read through the xanga help, it turns out that html codes from certain websites are not going to work on xanga because they dont support it. I was shocked!

Also, I am unable to take part in BE's 'Rent My Blog' campaign. I can rent on others blogs but I just cant rent mine out. This saddens me as I have had such great experiences with my previous 'landlords' that I would like to do the same for others. With xanga, I cant!! I also cant insert my ranking with the BOTB challenges, the Blog textlinks and some other stuffs from other directories as well.

I also understand that some of my readers have been having dificulty commenting as they have to register an account with xanga before commenting. I should be doing everyone a huge favour if the comment section is open for all bloggers, even those outside of xanga. Would you agree with me?;) I must thank all who registered with xanga just so they can comment here. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

Therefore, I have made the decision to move out xanga. I have been researching on other blog engines these few days and I must say that I am very impress with wordpress. Its clean cut, no annoying ads and no annoying word verification. My only concern is that it is relatively new and there arent many template providers for wordpress. Usually what I do is take a template and customize it into my own style. Without a template, I cant do much as I am seriously not an expert in blog design. Everything that I have done here was based on trial and error.

If I am unable to find a good free template provider, I will most probably be moving to blogger. Its been around a lot longer and there are tons of skins out there for blogger that I can work on. There is not much choice for skins for blogger over at www.createblog.com.  That is why I have turned to other websites such as www.blogskins.com. Its nice and all but I dont understand why some of designs allows minimum scrolling.

The template I am looking for must have these few criterias that I have set:

1. It must be easy to work with.

2. It must be customize friendly.

3. It can either be 2 colums or 3 colums.

4. Most important- it must not be boring to look at.

Therefore if you know any good websites where I can check out the templates, please let me know. I would love to move to wordpress so anyone who knows more about where I can find wordpress templates, please let me know too. Anyone who thinks I should stay in xanga, please voice your thoughts over at the tagboard. I am open to listen to any suggestions. 

Moving is hectic but nevertheless, it has to be done. 

Message just for Nurul:

Picture from: www.positivetones.com